need another drink. this is the easiest way
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
