Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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