Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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