in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I love having hate sex.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
