your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
