it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
