I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
