Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
