I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
