not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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