i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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