she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize