He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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