dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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