tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
