Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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