just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize