So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
