yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
