worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
