Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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