I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
