I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I didn't notice because vodka
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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