it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
