I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just google imaged poop.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
