I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
