Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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