that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
