I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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