wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
