are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
