She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
