She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
wow bdsm is so cute
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
