and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
