The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
