dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
