We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
