I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
