her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
