I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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