Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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