Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
