You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
