If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
