Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
