i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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