when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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