I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I see more hoeing in ur future
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