They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
