How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize