So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
