Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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