He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
