please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
