where's my purse there's an important taco in it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
