you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
