I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize