idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am midnight drunk by noon
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
