Someone shit on the floor
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Houston, we have a squirter
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
