You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
