ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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