spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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