dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
