Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The feeling are messing with the penis
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize