In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
