did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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