sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
