just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
