We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
