Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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