U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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