This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
