meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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