I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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