let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
