You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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