is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Operation Purity has been aborted
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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