The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
