Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize