Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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