You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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