so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
