dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
