considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
