I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
