I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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